In 2003, December 22nd, I lost my dearest Papa due to cancer and heart attack.
In 2011, June 29th, I lost my dearest Mummy due to virus infection and heart attack.
In 2003, when Papa was ill and hospitalised, I didn't have the chance to see his last time as I was having confinement. I was only allowed to see him when he was already peacefully lied on the coffin.
The feeling was so hurting. I had thousand and thousand of words to tell him.. But I was not given the chance.
Now in 2011, June 29th, I was with Mummy all the time.
I was traumatised by the whole thingy. Did not expect such ending.
Mummy was admitted due to fever.
27th June - the medical team was unable to find out what went wrong with mum which caused fever. Then they started to give her antibotic to bring her fever down. The medical team was not observant at all.
I was not very happy. As I felt that mummy was panting and I requested the nurse to check her. But the nurse replied was so F***ing irresponsible! She replied saying that fever's patient sure to pant.
Then I replied saying I did not pant when I was having fever!
Think she was trying to avoid doing some checking as mummy was at her ward for temporary due to no bed at general medicine ward!
Finally, mummy was transferred to general ward and she was resting well when the nurse woke her up and transferred her to another bed!
I really don't understand the purpose of doing so.
Anw, on 28th early morning, 5.20am, I received a call from the hospital saying mummy was in critical condition as her breathing was bad and needed to send her to ICU!
Everything was so sudden. The moment I reached mummy's ward, the medical team had started to insert her with many tubes etc. They took another X-ray and said that mummy contacted pneumonia. But when mummy was admitted at A&E, they said her X-ray was cleared! What was all these abt?
The next moment when mummy was in ICU, all bad news started to come.
1st, the registrar explained that mummy was having urine tract infection which affected her kidneys, then said that the virus has spread to her lung and chest! Mum's urine and blood was collected when she was at normal ward, and now then tell me what went wrong!? TTSH needed 3 days to have the result??
I really could not accept. The worst was not out yet...
On tuesday midnight, my sis smsed saying my mum suffered a heart attack! At that time, mummy was having dialysis! What the hell!!
On wednesday morning, I rushed down and spoke to the registrar again. This time he said mummy's recovery only 10%!
Seeing mummy suffering in there, having so many tubes on her. I could feel her pain.
Told the medical team to give her the best treatment but made her less pain, thus, they sedated her. Although mummy was sleepy, but she was conscious. She heard every words we said. I even promised her that she could go home once she pulled through this and I sure to bring her home.
I broke my promise. I did not!
On wednesday afternoon, the medical team gave me the new I hate most! Mummy was not able to pull through wednesday.
My world really fell apart! I broke down badly.
I hate this! I hate this!
A lot of things started to come to my mind. I started to feel unfair, many blames started to come to me.
Mummy finally gone at 1547hrs. She decided to give up. Think she felt too stressful to fight the battle. And probably she was really very tired.
Mummy, I know you heard what I told you. And I am grateful that you made me feel better by leaving us with a peaceful look. No tears in your eyes, no painful look.
But I am jealous.. Cos you really chose to be with papa than me!! hur hur...
You told me I am the one you sayang.... but I think you loved papa MOST!! hee..
Anyway, I believe you should be very happy now. Cos you are with papa now.
I saw your picture yesterday at the temple. You smiled very brightly..
I miss you, mummy..
Till we meet again,, papa and mummy..
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